Some of the most talented people on earth are paid millions to scour the planet to find the worst possible news and bring it to you live, in high def and surround sound with eye-popping graphics, sound effects and a theme song.
I know. I used to record music packages for TV news.
It was a staggering amount of work. We would take a week with a producer, three arrangers, three 2nd engineers, an entire symphony-sized orchestra, a control room filled with six-foot-tall racks of synthesizers and samplers and a Los Angeles camera crew.
And that was just the music – otherwise known to TV people as background noise.
We would record over a hundred pieces of music for every possible mood, news personality, national emergency, storm alert, courtroom drama, murder, war, terrorist attack, sports event, seasonal and human interest story.
None of these things had actually happened yet, mind you.
But they will. And when they do news crews want to milk every ounce of emotion from you. They know it will upset you and make you watch.
“Will the puppy escape the zombie? Find out after this commercial break!”
(cue disturbing music, crossfade to erectile dysfunction spot)
Because viewers mean money and money is what news is all about.
Does any of this sound particularly healthy to you?
Think about it. Does bringing you live updates from the other side of the world help anyone? You can’t do a thing about it. You have no control over it. But you are disturbed by it.
Psychologists say the worst kind of stress, the kind that eats out your insides and scrambles your brain, is unremitting stress from a situation you feel responsible for but over which you have no control.
Sound like news to you? So here’s a couple of questions.
- Will anything good happen in your town today? Anywhere?
- Will you see it on the news tonight?
Probably not.
Happy satisfied viewers might just sigh, smile and go outside for a walk. Or sit down for a family meal. Or wash clothes or do dishes or any number of things waiting on their to-do lists.
In other words, they might become non-viewers!!!
And that means no Emmy nomination. No Peabody Award. No Pulitzer. No raise. No shot at the networks. No bigger dressing room. No box seats. No fan pages.
So today, make sure that you watch as much news as possible . . .
Or not.
Photo by Sarah Ackerman via Flickr
