What do I want to do?

That is the ultimate question. God has given me that choice. I am not trapped anywhere doing anything.

If I have let someone else choose for me then that was my choice. I am still responsible for it.

If I am here doing something, let me do it with all the joy and thought and energy that I can, understanding that this day, in this way, I chose this.

If I have not chosen what I am doing, then let me remember that it is my life, given by God, and no one has more right to it than I.

If I am constrained by love then that is also a choice, for though I can’t choose to be loved, I choose whom I love and how and why, which may be my defining choice.

I may choose only my response to forces beyond my power and though it be shoved and choked down inside me, without expression and in pain, still, I choose my answer which God alone knows.

What do I want to do?

If I choose well, it is a happy question full of possibility and hope. It is a world full of beautiful options, of ways things could be better, of laughter and light. There is no end to the creative good I could conceive.

If I choose badly, it is a twisting, dangerous path of things I am afraid not to choose, of moving targets chosen by others for their own devices. It is a series of tests to show whether I am worthy. It is a trap.

My choice is not theirs to choose. I stand before God alone. I have been given the decisions of my life. I answer only to myself and my Creator.

Let me answer with beauty and love and gratitude. Let me answer with joy and mercy and forgiveness. Let me answer with the courage these things require.

Let me never forget the answer is mine and my choices will be who I am.

What do I want to do?

 

Photo: Doors of Dublin by timsackton via Flickr