Emotions can feel like the weather. Bigger than us. A powerful force that hangs over us, beyond our control.

It’s hard to predict what you’re going to get. Today is a good example, and yesterday.

Yesterday the weather was cloudy and I ran into one of those people that can make the world feel like a burdensome place. The world is a glorious place, but there are some inglorious people in it. I went because a friend suggested it. Given my friend, I guess my expectations were a little high. I’d hoped to find someone as encouraging as he is.

Nope. Instead, I found someone who laughed at what I do. It happens.

It used to happen more when I lived in Nashville. People had opinions about anyone in the music business. People refused to rent to me when I first came to town. Even after I’d achieved some success, many people looked down on me like I was a wandering minstrel come to pick their pockets and corrupt their daughters. Even after I had daughters of my own. Even when they paid top dollar for front row seats at concerts.

I’d come to expect it though. When are you going to get a real job. That’s not working. The blank stare when I answered the question,”What do you do?”

But I didn’t expect it from someone who helps people at his own expense. I’d hoped we might share a common bond, a little camaraderie.

Nope. He looked at me with the same blank look I’d experienced before. The more I explained, the blanker he looked. In the end, we were on opposite sides of a theological fence.

I had expected encouragement, or something positive. Instead, my emotions cut me off at the knees. I left feeling weighed down. Every burden I faced felt heavier and loomed in front of me.

I knew it was just emotions. I knew it would go away. I knew dozens of positive ways to shake it off and move on. But it still felt bad.

Emotions feel bigger than they are.

But then there is today. The sun is bright, the sky is clear, the air is crisp and the wind seems friendly. It’s the kind of day to make me want to run from all responsibilities and take off for the mountains to play.

Because the weather changes.

Perspective alone made my problems shrink. Sleeping late was wonderfully curative. Shopping with Suzie on her day off was marvelous. But then we got in line to check out.

The cashier was friendly. We struck up a conversation. He smiled. We joked. He picked up one of the bags, walked around the counter and put it in the cart for me just to help. He didn’t even think about it.

No manager was looking over his shoulder. I knew from past experience at this store that such a good attitude wasn’t a job requirement. In fact, it was downright shocking.

He just couldn’t help himself. He was a happy, helpful guy. I walked out smiling.

I was struck by the fact that a couple of miles down the street was a wealthy philanthropist who had dedicated his later life to helping people, and yet I left his office feeling small and useless. But I walked out of this store feeling that life was pretty grand.

And it is. It was all along. But my emotions tripped me up. Instead of working for me, they caught me off guard.

In the end, how I felt didn’t really change anything. It just changed me. As good as positive emotions are, as much as they create a wave I can ride on, as powerfully uplifting as they can be, they can change in an instant.

That’s important for me to remember when the beautiful wave curls over my head and smacks me into the roiling surf. It might hurt for a minute, but there’s always another wave.

And on cloudy days with discouraging people, I need to remember there will be days like today.

And I will smile again.

 

Photo by Suzie Ritchie